A Song of Desperation and Directness
by SlackerJ
Summary: In continuation of my bad self-insert into the Game of Thrones habit, I present to you the story of a modern man waking up in the body of Joffery Baratheon at the beginning of the series. Enjoy...
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** I will be returning to A Merchant of Braavos shortly, but I seem to be facing something of a writer's block. In an effort to get past, I started writing this. I hope you all enjoy this outing as much as my other Game of Thrones work.

* * *

Waking up somewhere strange without any memory of how you got there is never a good sign. Waking up wearing the face of a psychopathic blonde sixteen year old even less so, and doing in the capital city of a country that doesn't actually exist worse still. It's a weird situation to be, and far more unpleasant by far, especially when you figure out you aren't dreaming and yet are wondering when you'll open one's eyes and be back home in bed. And thus was my first few minutes in King's Landing.

I did benefit, I will happily admit, from being in the body of Joffery fucking Baratheon. While the kid has more than a few screws loose, or he did, he certainly happens to live in the lap of luxury and in an actual position to do something in this world. As an added bonus it was around the time that the royal household was packing to head to Winterfell. I'm not entirely sure much I can change or if Martin's universe will course correct to see as much of canon play out as it should, but I'm not exactly going to sit on my ass and do nothing. Especially given that if I go down Joffery's prescribed road, I'll die via poison at the hands of Littlefinger and Olenna Tyrell, which didn't look like a nice way to go on the show. This means I have to see what I can do to dig myself out of the hole that old George has written me into with his bull excrement.

This meant a certain amount of plotting, planning and political thinking, none of which I was particularly good at. Give me a straight forward problem with a straight forward solution any day of the week. But such is not the situation I appear to have found myself in as I spent an hour or so adjusting to the body I now found myself in. Joffrey's body was half my age, almost to a day, and filled with a lot more energy to be sure. Also, packing a lot less of the spare tire I'd found myself with as I got older. Sword fighting and regular activity had mitigated a goodly portion of the damage but genetics and the poor diet of a man who'd never learned _how_ to diet in enough time were taking their great toll. Sometime to correct while I was here to be sure, so not as to take after my… _father_.

Well, that was a way to bring one's self back to reality. Here I was getting enthusiastic about changing things, when the problems of Joffrey's past come crashing down upon me. Dealing with the fallout of Cersei and Jamie's dallying together was a good part of the reasoning behind the War of the Five Kings – Renly and Stannis both declared themselves King on the basis that Joffrey was in fact the result of the union between my mother and my _actual_ father and technically _Uncle_ Jamie Lannister. Not that they weren't wrong, as it was all true, but they really didn't need to destabilise the realm over it. Especially when there was more to deal with, like the North rebelling over Joffery's, or my, killing of Eddard Stark and the keeping of Sansa as hostage.

There were also the machinations of Littlefinger to keep in mind. The mother fucker had about ten dozen plans going on right now, all with the explicit purpose of causing as much chaos as was possible to cause. There was also Varys and he desire to see the Targaryen's back on the Iron Throne, which helped approximately none of the stability of the realm. And these were only the problems I remembered from the show, which I had been in the process of rewatching before I ended up here. It was about then that I was interrupted by a servant, who'd apparently heard my random outbursts and took that to mean that I was up and awake and needed to be dressed, which I guessed wasn't a bad idea. The million problems of the realm weren't going to be fixed while I sat and sulked in my new, expansive and well-appointed bedroom. And I do have to say that the Lannisters have something of a sense of style that I never possessed, and the money to back it up. But enough side noting, there were schemes to make and what have you. I needed to figure out what to do.

First things first, apparently in the aftermath of the death of Jon Arryn we were to travel to the Northern capital of Winterfell so that my _father_ could discuss matters of state with Eddard Stark, make him Hand of the King, marry Sansa Stark off to myself and bring him back to King's Landing. Why he couldn't do that via raven I'll never know, but there we go. Still, not for a few days yet so that left me a few days to do what I could. Well, here goes nothing, right? Attending the breaking of the fast (or breakfast to us normal people) wasn't too bad. Only my mother was present and I tried to be pleasant, which caused her to give me the curious side-eye. Apparently this divergence from Jeoff's normal demeanour was a noticeable thing, which I hastily chalked up to ore-trip nerves and wanting to put on a good face in front of the Northern-men. This was scoffed at as Cersei brushed my concerns aside. They were a "backwards people" that we didn't need consider any more than was necessary and that we should put on a polite face only for society's sake and nothing else. Only Robert gave a shit about the North apparently. Good times.

Still, I stayed silent for the rest of the meal and got the hell outta dodge while the getting was good. I didn't need to attract trouble any sooner than was humanly necessary. Well, outside of the shit I was going to be pulling. According to the snivelling functionary who insisted on following me around, I was afforded a small staff and a small stipend from the Iron Throne's coffers. It wasn't much in the grand scheme, but it would hopefully be enough for what I wanted to do. I paid a visit to of the Grand Maester's functionaries, who was all too happy to provide me with the designs for a wine press from the castle's archives. It was a sign of the times that I was able to ensure his silence with a few coins. With a rudimentary understanding of printing and printing presses as a member in good standing of Royal College and Confraternity of Scribes and Illuminators of the Kingdom of Lochac, things should get fun. Once I got my steward, Arthur Dryer, should in theory be able to get things moving while I'm gone. It should hopefully come across as nothing but a folly to Littlefinger, who'd probably be happy to fund such bullshit, so long as it adds some coin to the debt column of the Seven Kingdoms.

I spent the rest of the day, and more than a few sheets of parchment, redesigning a wine press into a printing press. I left instructions with Dryer to purchase a used press somewhere in the capital and begin the conversion process in my absence, but to also keep me informed. With any luck it would be ready by my return, and I could start figuring out one way to reduce the Iron Throne's debt by printing books and documents. Or something. It also left me with naught by two days to do anything else before we left…


	2. Chapter 2

Breaking the fast the next day was no less a pleasant experience as the day before. Made more so by the presence of my _father_, fat, hung over fuck that he appears to be. I could smell the residual alcohol from half way across the table, and hot damn. He'd put many a first-year Waikato student on Sunday morning to shame, really. Must be what unlimited access to booze smelt like. May the Seven bless me with a lack a desire to drink in the coming years, 'cause I didn't want to turn out like that. He was overweight, scruffy bearded and _LOUD_ as he discussed the trip North with great enthusiasm. It'd apparently been a long time since he'd seen Eddard and he was looking forward to the catch up, which tracked with what I remembered. Mother seemed less than enthusiastic, but she was at least distracted from me for the moment, which helped. I greeted my _Uncle_ who stood nearby to ostensibly protect us while we ate, but you could see the furtive glances between him and mother. Could they be any more obvious and _father_ any more oblivious? Perhaps only because I knew what to look for, given how few people had apparently picked up on it prior to Jon Arryn's discoveries.

I excused myself at my earliest convenience and made for the office of the Master of Whispers. Varys was a smart man, and a smarter man than I would ever be, so coming to an understanding with him would be key. Especially if I was going to remove Littlefinger from office at any point in the near future. My unexpected appearance had him finish up some business in surprise before getting down to what I wanted. It was a long and tense discussion that was had, which opened with my revelation that I knew he wanted the Targaryen's back on the Iron Throne and ended with a mutual understanding between the two of us. He would assist in the removal of Littlefinger from office by hook or crook, and keep my little experiment with the wine press under wraps as best he could. In exchange I would not reveal what I knew about his desires and would share any other information I picked up through my '_independent network of Lannister operatives_'. Apparently it wasn't hard to convince him that the Lannisters had an independent set of spies throughout the Seven Kingdom's and that some of it was filtered to my mother and through her to me.

The fact that that the information came to me from the television show and was spotty at best didn't need to be shared at this particular moment. I just hoped that I could stay on top of things, offering the fact that the Targaryen's were in or near Pentos with eyes on marrying Daenerys off to a a Dothraki khalasar in exchange for an army as a parting gift of _friendship_. Seeing the spymaster look so shocked, even for a moment before he regained composure was all I needed. It might have been an overplay of my hand, but I really did need to establish some credentials going forward. With the only major item on my agenda for the day complete I began to wonder what to do with myself. Hopefully Varys would be a useful ally, as I needed those desperately. If I could prove to be a good ruler, his desire to see the blonde haired dragon riders back on the Iron Throne would lessen, but I wasn't counting on it. Still, if he could curb Littlefinger's influence that'd be awesome.

I considered retiring to my quarters and reading, but thought better of it and instead ordered some reading material packed. I instructed Dryer to inquire with the Imp for reading recommendations that a future King should take with him before heading out to find my mother. It was about time that we had a discussion about her and my _Uncle's_ proclivities. I was a conversation I wanted to have even less than the one I'd had with Varys, but equally important, if not more so. I didn't know what I was going to say, but I made sure to pick up Sandor Clegane before I went to see her. Because if shit went sideways, I wanted to make sure I had an armed bastard on my side and one who wouldn't spread what I was going to say around. Cersei appeared to be happy to see me and that I seemed to have recovered from the awkwardness of the day before. I hadn't, but I was a little busy focusing on other things to really deal with the reality of my situation. Sure, I had to deal with a bunch of strange things, like not having a flushing toilet or toilet paper, but I'd been to enough SCA, re-enactment, and LARP events to be able to deal with that. Same thing with the clothes and getting dressed. The strangest thing was the overabundance of testosterone. Going through puberty again was going to be a bitch, but at least Joffery had gone through the worst of it thus far.

But not relevant. If I was going to get comfortable, I needed to feel comfortable, and I didn't feel anything close to that right now. Cersei needed to be on side and for right now she was a loose cannon that I needed focused. Steeling myself I began laying out what I knew of her relationship with Jaime and that I was aware of my true parentage. When asked how I knew, I pointed towards Lord Arryn and that I'd overheard a conversation he'd had on the subject and put two and two together. Thank you LARPing, you have managed to make thinking on ones feet about these kinds of things so god damn easy. Still, she bought it, hook, line and sinker and was suitably amazed that I was dealing with it so well. To which, I drew on my inner Joffery and slapped the hell out of her. Which gave her a bigger shock about her "precious little boy," and all that. This was immediately shut down, as she was informed as to where she'd screwed the pooch in covering up Arryn's investigation from anyone smart enough and interested in finding out what was going on. I instructed her to fix it and that she and Jaime should cease their activities for the moment, least it proves problematic. I knew they wouldn't but if I could mitigate that problem before it became a problem, which would be nice.

I do plan on checking up on their activities when we get to Winterfell, but that's a then problem and not a now problem. If I can mitigate that problem before _that_ becomes a problem, all's the better. Though, I do wonder how many problems I can solve and which ones will become problems anyone. I still expect Eddard to find out about Cersei and Jaime regardless, but I'm not going to make it easy for him to prove. And if I can cut down the participants in the War of the Five King's down by one and have the North and the Tully's on side the better. If only I were older and I could make a case for acting as Hand of the King myself while my father drinks himself to death, but I'm only twelve. Such is the chaos of life apparently…


	3. Chapter 3

** Felon GT** – Thanks for the advice, I'll see what I can do to pace things out from here on out.

* * *

With Varys onside, Joffrey's parents hopefully onside and a project underway, I decided to sit back and relax. Steps towards a better Seven Kingdoms had been taken and I needed to start taking time to plot and plan longer term strategies. Most of what I had organised had been short- to midterm solutions that would hopefully stick. Varys could still stab me in the back, but he seemed earnest enough in his deal making when I laid all my cards on the table. Cersei was a plotter with delusions of competence in the game of thrones, and, to be fair, so was I. I just had the added advantage of knowing how things turned out. Not that my knowledge of the television series would help if I changed things dramatically.

I had left an instruction with Varys to check whether Petyr had sent any messages up north as I remembered that he'd sent a note to Cat Stark's sister at the Vale about the Lannister's being behind the poisoning of her husband. If we could stop it, all's the better. If not, well, I'd just have to work around it as best I could. Right now, I had a trip North to prepare for. That meant packing warm which I was happy to do. I was a long way from being a mad Russian back home and Joffrey's body was quite used to the warm temperatures of King's Landing. Given that the people here at King's Landing all seemed to take after their actors from the show so far, it'd be interesting to see if that was still the case elsewhere. Once I started puberty, because having Lena Headey as my mother was going to cause some incestuous thinking on my part. Hopefully having Sansa Stark in town would help distract me.

But that was future me's problem. Ah, so many things I was foisting on my future self, hopefully it won't end up with him cursing me for my putting off of the worries of my present and his past. Regardless, the trip north was long, boring and filled with a plethora of reading on my part. Tyrion had apparently been more than happy to recommend some books for me to read, and I was happy to fill my time reading them. During the stops along the way, I took the time to bond with my _father_ over meals and infrequently getting lessons on sword fighting from some of the knights and soldiers attending the royal family, while pointedly avoiding Jaime. Cersei had apparently told her brother of what had been said as there was a lot of pointed staring from both Lannisters. I just ignored it, as so long as they didn't do anything stupid then there wouldn't be any problems. But, knowing them, I would still have to pay a visit to a certain tower before long once we got to Winterfell.

The trip took a fair chunk of time, and it wasn't long before boredom set in on my part. The weeks and months it took to get anywhere wasn't the part I enjoyed about medieval transportation, no matter the lack of cars, trains or planes. But better roads were definitely something to implement if I ever got the chance, 'cause the King's Road was bloody terrible depending on who's part of the Seven Kingdom's you were travelling through. I was already considering adding a Master of Printing to the Small Council to oversee the printing presses I was going to make, but a Master of Roads was definitely on a close second to make sure these bloody roads were built. If I knew anything of Roman aqueducts and plumbing I'd be adding a position to the Council to institute that across the Seven Kingdoms as well. But for the moment, it was probably smart to stick with what I knew how to work out.

We celebrated a few name days (read: birthdays) along the way. They were mostly for Cersei's handmaidens, and were done as much for breaking the monotony as anything else. My hormones were playing pretty, pretty havok with my decision making and boredom and I had been making a point to avoid the hell out of my mother's female attendants and the daughters of the few Northern lords we stayed with during the trek. The name day fests were simple, but nice and even my _father_ sobered up for a couple of them and joined in on the festivities. It marked a nice change from his usual habits and I treasured those moments the most, especially as he'd always been at least somewhat inebriated during our previous bonding encounters. But even with breaks like these, we still managed to reach Winterfell. The scene played out much like the TV show and I'd even managed to learn how to ride a horse by myself enough to not make a fool of myself as we rode in.

And, what can I say? The actors were definitely out in full force, so it wasn't just King's Landing that was adhering to the television show. This meant that things were definitely going to be fun going forward. If I could swing meeting Margery Tyrell, I was definitely going to take it if this was the case. Even if I didn't get to marry her, just being able to take in her appearance would be enough. But enough about early adolescent thoughts, there was stuff to do. Like flirt awkwardly with Sansa Stark while I plotted to keep the rest of her family alive. The latter part was not going to be an easy task, I can assure you of that.

Still, I got through dismounting and the awkward introductions as Robert fucked off to morn his lost love with Eddard, my mother decided to be a bitch, and everyone else stood around. No one was sure what to do or what the protocol was, so I made some up as I introduced myself to the Stark's with an uncomfortable smile, which only got worse as I talked to Sansa. Yeah, this would be interesting, to be sure. Hopefully I didn't stick ye olde foot into yonder mouth as I really needed the Stark's on side if things went pear shaped…


	4. Chapter 4

Keeping yourself busy when there's politicking going on around you is never fun. I found myself talking to Sansa as often as I could manage without engaging impropriety and often in the presence of Arya. The youngest Stark had declared herself Sansa's protector. I wasn't going to complain any more than was necessary to keep me a member in good standing of the Young Boys in Love Club, but she was fun to be around. It wasn't often you saw unrepentant snark around a member of the royal family. It'd be nice to have Arya around the castle once we got back, but we'd have to see how much time we got to spend together. Especially once I got the crown. Knowing Cersei she'd probably try to eliminate Robert on a similar timetable as canon to ensure I couldn't hold telling him over her head for long before trying to find a way to control me. The advantage she had there was that she would had a while during my minority to move pieces around the board to her preference. The disadvantage being that I had a reasonable idea of the pieces I wanted in place and a will to see it done.

Regardless, I was focusing on the moment as much as I could and letting things settle a little before I went to check on my mother and her relations with my father Jaime. I'd left instructions with some of the guards, through the rather imposing Sandor, to inform me if Cersei decided to find a nice, quiet tower somewhere to alone with her brother. It was amazing what you could achieve through physical intimidation and pure reputation. About the only person who would mess with Sandor openly is his brother Gregor and Brianne of Tarth. Thankfully neither are here right now. I was considering sending for both as soon as I became King, with a look at sending Gregor to be punished by the Dornishmen for the slaughter of Elia Martell, and Brianne to be inducted into the Kingsguard. All in all, my early reign was going to be filled with fixing the mistakes of Robert Barathean, which wasn't going to be a pleasant experience. Still, once everything was calm I would hopefully be able to enjoy myself. Maybe even begin to seriously relax.

I was probably fooling myself, but I was young. I was allowed to be optimistic again, for however long it lasted before reality slapped me around once again. Like when, not more than twenty-four hours after our arrival, Clegane gave me news that my mother had secured herself some privacy in one of the broken, disused towers in Winterfell and absented her guards. And why would she do that when she had a perfectly serviceable room in the castle itself? Because she thought she and Jaime were being smart. Idiots. So, it was with that in mind that I immediately stormed towards the tower in the hopes of avoiding the fate that would fall Bran Stark and start the Game of Thrones anew. I could practically hear the love making from halfway up the stairs and had to avert my eyes as Sandor kicked down the door. Sharp words were had after the screeching and objections died down. I barely had time to order them dressed before a seriously confused Bran showed up. I shooed him away with the excuse of a "Lannister family meeting," and bid him give us some privacy. The things I do for family.

Once he youngster was gone, and well out of ear shot, I lambasted my parents for their abject stupidity and asked them to respect ages and not Jaime's dick size. The latter comment got a chuckle out of Jaime and dagger eyes from Cersei. Schemers my parents were not. At least we had avoided a portion of the first seasons plot by keeping Bran safe and sound for the moment, and Tyrion out of the hands of Lady Arryn. It would also hopefully soften things down the road if Cersei decided to fuck with Eddard down the road. Fingers crossed, if only for the fact that Cersei is the Queen of Unnecessarily Making Shit Worse, and nothing else. This was just another reason for me to find a way to get her out of the capital and sent back to Casterly Rock as quickly as possible, before she pissed away any chance of a peaceful reign. Still, with a crisis averted, I could go back to enjoying myself for the moment.

Later that day, I received two messages – one from Dryer saying that the press I'd designed was nearing completion and would be ready and tested by my return; the second from Varys saying that there evidence was well on its way to being collected and that Littlefinger would probably be able to be removed upon my return. Both of which was good news. So far things were coming up me, but it couldn't last. Something was bound to go wrong, I knew it. That was how this show or the books worked. I was just generating massive karma to come back and bite me in the ass at the absolute worst time. Le sigh. Hopefully that wouldn't be for a long time and I could just skate through this without to many problems. Also, excuse me while I choke on the bullshit there. I was no professional at avoiding karma, that job went to Tyrion, who managed to avoid much in the way of consequences (outside of extended dungeon stays) for the entirety of the series and ended up the Hand of the King to Brandon the Broken as punishment. Lucky bastard.

All I could do was hope to avoid getting poisoned at my own wedding in a couple of years and bring some stability to the Seven Kingdoms, like a good little King. All of this weighed on me as I returned to the castle-at-large in search of a lovely redheaded Stark to flirt innocently with…


	5. Chapter 5

I spent the rest of the trip flirting awkwardly with Sansa Stark, which was a lovely way to pass the time. Ayra's presence was occasionally tolerated, mostly around meal times or points where we might be perceived as "being alone with each other." Seeing someone get so defensive was nice and I made sure to commend her on it where I could. Though, my observations were disregarded wherever possible. The downsides to being a boy were interdimensional apparently. Not that I was going to complain, as I was cherishing the innocents of the two before the great game burned them both. I'd do my best to protect them, but there were no guarantees in this life. You just had to keep winning, which I was managing to do with reasonable aplomb so far, given that I was hitting soft balls so far. The harder problems would undoubtedly fowl me up somewhere along the line I'm sure. Still, having Sansa along for the ride definitely made the trip back to King's Landing a lot more pleasant and we actually managed to get along okay once we got past the awkward, which I should probably stop bringing up.

It took us another month to return home, and nothing terrible managed to happen. Sansa and I witnessed Arya's early attempts at sword fighting and I made a mental note to see about her training. Even if Eddard didn't undertake her training this go around, I was certainly going to see about helping out with that. Having someone around my fiancé who she trusted and was capable of defending her was all good in my books. Who knew, an induction into the Kingsguard might be something to consider when the younger Stark girl came of age, with her families permission of course. There was no need to raise the hackles of the Starks any time soon. Catelyn's hackles were probably already raised by the message from her sister, but Lady Arryn would hopefully have no reason to arrest Tyrion this time around. Which would hopefully get him back to King's Landing sooner, which was something I sorely needed as the Imp was partial to giving good advice. When he wasn't being written terribly. Hopefully earlier series Tyrion would last longer this time around and _be_ around longer this time around, rather than being charged with my murder and being shipped off to elsewhere. Couldn't remember where for the life of me and it was going to annoy me until I remembered where.

Still, since the butcher's kid, Mycah, wasn't blamed for attacking me he didn't die and neither did Lady. So, more positives there. And besides, I got to have my own little sparring session with Arya as well. Got my ass handed to me, as neither of us are exactly trained but she's had a bit more experience at arms watching her brothers and generally being a Northerner. But it has softened our relationship somewhat, which is also nice. Sandor kept being Sandor the entire trip, but he's got a bit of opening up to do yet. Here's hoping he finds it somewhere along the line as that man needs to lighten his psychological load a little. Not that I can't understand where he's coming from as living with Gregor must not have been easy.

I impressed _father_ with my story of how I got the cuts and bruises from the duelling with Arya, though Eddard seemed to disapprove. That was chuckle worthy, but not my problem. Hopefully Arya didn't get into too much trouble for crossing swords with the heir to the Iron Throne. It was nice to be treated normally for five minutes outside of the flirting with Sansa. Will definitely have to find a way to keep Arya around if possible. Stupid brain seems insistent on that for some reason, possibly for familial reason, possible crush or just the Gods telling me so. Who knows at this point really. I could just be projecting. Regardless, _father_ has promised to secure me lessons from Barristan Selmy when we get back to King's Landing, which'll be nice. Might try and get Arya in on that, but I'd also be content on seeing her learn from the Braavosi gentleman. Cyro Debusiach, I think? Something like that at any rate. I suppose I'll find out eventually. Makes me sad that the Kingsguard is limited to seven members as there's a plethora of people I'd love to add to its roster as Cyro would be an excellent member. Ah, well.

I could expand the Guard, but I'm sure Selmy would probably do his best to talk me down, given the purist that he is. Ah, well. I'm sure I can arrange an unofficial guard of Clegane, Brienne, and Cyro, along with whoever else I can manage. If I can collect the best of the best, and the honourable, then alls the better. Resort the government from the top down. With Tyrion hopefully coming back sooner, I should hopefully be able to use him to replace Littlefinger with _father_. I'd consider using mother to help me, but she hates Tyrion more than she hates _father_, and besides she considers Petyr to be a useful tool she can manipulate. Meanwhile being completely blind to the fact that he's pulling a dozen strings himself. You'd think being the daughter of Tywin Lannister would teach her a few things about recognising manipulators, but apparently not. Not that I, as Joffery, can complain any as he was equally as blind to the various manipulations. I'd be in the same boat, but I've got the advantage of seeing the series and know the kinds of bastards I'm surrounded by.

Getting home and settling in wasn't too bad. Being somewhere warm was a nice change, and in a relatively comfortable bed to boot. Northern beds seem to be at least 90% lumpy straw or something, which could explain the toughness, but still. Would a little comfort hurt every now and then, Stark? Regardless, I was feeling good. I'd prescheduled meetings with both Dryer and Varys about the respective topics I wished to discuss. I also wanted to get in on the Small Council meetings, which meant talking to _father_, and it was going to be an unpopular decision with mother. But after her stupidity in Winterfell, I was less inclined to head her instructions. If it wouldn't have compromised my succession to the Iron Throne, I would've gone to the Faith of the Seven the minute we got back and reported her. Get both her and Jaime out of the way and allow Tywin to take control without Cersei counter-scheming in the background. As it was, I'd have to settle for reporting Renly and Loras.

Getting those two out of the way would be nice, and reduce the number of Kings in the aptly named War of the Five Kings. If there was less chaos, there was less chance the Greyjoy's would get in on things.

Hell, if I could avoid the War of the Five Kings at all, that'd be lovely…


	6. Chapter 6

** big allen** \- According to the sources I could find, Joffery is 12 at the start of the series, 14 when he assumes the throne and 16 when Tyrion returns to King's Landing to act in place of Tywin as Hand of the King. So, as far as I'm aware this is all canon. If you have evidence to the contrary, or if anybody does, really, I'm all ears.

* * *

So many things to do, so little time. That was the mantra running through my head as I began my first full day back in King's Landing. First was meeting with Dryer over the printing press, which was somewhat awkward looking, but otherwise functional. It would do until I could refine the machinery and I had Dryer set up a meeting with the High Septon at the man's earliest convenience. The test runs he'd performed looked passable and would, again, get better with time and would do in printing some relatively cheap religious texts and tracts. What I needed was money if this was going to be developed further. Especially if I was going to create a Master of Printing on the Small Council and all that. Hopefully I could convince whoever it was that held the position currently and organise a deal. As it was, I had Dryer print copies of some of the religious texts we had on hand as examples to show the High Septon when we did meet.

Second up was the Master of Whispers, the more serious of the two meetings I'd had today. Varys had apparently done legitimate investigating (_Shock! Horror!_) and had managed to find evidence that proved at least some cooking of the Crown's books. It wasn't much, but it would be enough to cause someone, say Eddard Stark, to tell Littlefinger where to stick his famous fingers. Adding to that the crafty bastard had shifted at least some of his pro-Targaryen activities onto Petyr's shoulders. That caused a raised eyebrow from me, but I really should have expected it and I was pleasantly surprised that he hadn't shifted everything onto the erstwhile Master of Coin. For what it was worth, Varys was apparently a man of his word and we had a deal. That was worth a degree of trust at least, even though I still had a Gregor-sized pile of doubts about the man. The money problems would see Eddard would get his heckles up and the Targaryen angle would see Robert seeing red. _Father_ had a hate boner for the former holders of the Iron Throne and was prone to thinking irrationally when they were concerned. It would make getting rid of the Master of the Coin remarkably easy.

The problem was finding a replacement. I'd volunteer, but at all of 13, I doubt they'd take me seriously. Varys, my mother and Jaime were about the only ones who had any idea of my potential. Otherwise, I was trying to keep it under wraps wherever possible. If I got ousted as a player of the game publicly then things could get interesting. If I could act through others, then things would be better. I'd consider Dryer as Master of Coin, but that idea was sure to be laughed out of the Small Council chambers. Besides, I need him working for me doing the dirty work of organising my printing presses. Or press currently. Varys had a couple of suggestions, but I was hasten to increase his influence on the Council so I suggested leaving the appoint of the new Master of Coin to my father the King, or rather to Eddard Stark, and see who he came up with. It would be amusing to be sure. So, I left Varys to present the information he'd found to the Small Council at their first meeting under the new Hand. It would be interesting to be sure.

You could hear the yelling of my _father_ from the other side of the castle. I'd been preparing some material for a potential meeting with the High Septon when the loud voices started. Apparently the information about Baelish had finally reached him and he was in the process of losing his shit. It was enough to elicit a small grin from Sandor who apparently found Barathean outbursts to be amusing. Can't say I blame him, really, but there it is. Plastering myself with an innocent expression, I went in search of answers. Apparently Robert _had_ heard about the Baelish quote unquote 'betrayal' and wanted the man's head. Eddard was trying to appeal for leniency but the King was having none of that, and all I had to think was this – good riddance to bad rubbish. The sooner the realm was rid of Baelish the better.

I just had to hope we got someone better suited for the job. But I'd settle for someone even half way competent. I was silently cursing Tyrion for wanting to go piss off the side of the wall when he could be back here doing something useful. Why did have to be so… him? A frustrated sigh escaped my lips for the second time in as many moments. I was surrounded by corruption and incompetence on all sides and it was exceptionally annoying and potentially exhausting. All the inward looking left me distracted enough to run into the person I was looking for – Renly Barathian, my _uncle_ by dint of marriage or public perception. After his attempt to excuse himself for the Small Council meeting, I announced that I would like to speak to him later on the subject of his… personal life. Eliciting more than a little suspicion, he agreed. Hopefully he would be open to discussions with his future King without running to my _father_ like a little bitch. But evidence showed he was equally as likely to run to his lover Loras and start a war. Regardless, the promise was there. Even though none of us set a real date or time for it. That way we both had an excuse if it never happened due to either of us running away.

I returned to rooms to find Dryer wanting to talk to me. The High Septon had accepted the request to talk to him about the printing project, but would only speak to me and not to my underlings. Frustrating to be sure, as I was confident in Dryer to negotiate things, but it was somewhat understandable. Why speak to the underlings when you were important enough to speak to the boss himself? Regardless, it meant that I had to be confident in what I was speaking about and convincing enough that I wasn't suspicious. So, I went over the press on a basic level, as Dryer had needed to modify a few things in line with the resources he'd had available. My current budget from the Treasury hadn't been enough to cover everything, so he'd also borrowed against my name with a couple of local money lenders. Which was annoying, but better than going to the Iron Bank. It also reminded me to bring all the King's Landing moneylenders under my control when I took the throne as another source of income and way of getting in good with the common folk of the city. If I could magnanimously forgive the debts of a good portion of the people, it'd be a morale booster.

Regardless, on the morrow I will be speaking with the High Septon. It won't be the High Sparrow, thankfully, as Cersei hasn't blown the sept to hell yet, but he's still around here somewhere. Definitely someone to keep an eye out for, to be sure. But there's never any shortage of those around here.

If only there was a way to shorten that particular list. It was the thought I pondered as I carried myself towards the Small Council meeting. Yes, I was late, but I wanted to see if I could catch the Balish fallout and potentially lend a hand in administration…


	7. Chapter 7

**Big allen** \- After double checking the dates, you're right. My apologies. I may need to change a few things.

* * *

The scene at the Small Council was far more amusing that I could have intended. Varys had not long gone through the information he'd _discovered_ about Petyr Baelish that he'd discovered on his _own recognisance_. I had to resist laughing at the retelling of all of this and just how serious the Master of Whispers could remain as he explained all of the information before the council. Petyr had denied everything, obviously, but it was doing him little good. Eddard was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt as he was an old friend of his wife, or something, but the evidence was great. And then my _father_ came storming in all a fluster. Turns out Varys was right in throwing in some Targaryen collaboration in the mix as Robert looked ready to gut Petyr where he stood. I found myself a seat near the door, with Sandor standing beside me, and wishing that Westeros had popcorn.

The King proceeded to go off on Petyr for daring to collaborate with the traitorous Targaryen's and their ilk. There was no arguing or convincing him otherwise, and as far as he was concerned, the Master of Coin was guilty as sin. I spent most of the argument going unnoticed, at least until an exchange about who the 'fat fornicating bastard' (which would be remembered for later) would get to replace Baelish. Littlefinger, who'd apparently noticed my entrance and amused look gestured towards me and suggested that I'd do. Especially given that I was as thrifty as anyone else around. That got me laughing, at least until I realised that I was probably old enough to hold the office. Robert thought it a capital suggestion as it would give me a sense of responsibility and appointed me the Master of Coin. Which gave everyone pause, as it was a suggestion made in anger and haste, and not meant to be taken seriously. But here was I was, suddenly appointed to high office because my father wanted to drink and whore himself into an early grave, and also apparently undertake late-in-life parental decisions.

Still, with that decision made, Baelish was placed under arrest with his execution to take place at midday on the morrow. After giving everyone a minute or two to calm their farm, I asked my _father_ if he was serious about my appointment as Master of Coin. After some arguing between he and Eddard it was decided that I would serve as Master of Coin until Tyrion Lannister returned to King's Landing, as having a Lannister in charge of the finances seemed like a great idea. It would do to teach me some of how the government ran and allow me to attend Small Council meetings. Father further gave me permission to continue attending after Tyrion returned, for 'as long as I was interested in doing so'. So, bonus there but also unexpected result. I requested permission to take my leave of the remainder of the meeting, as I would need to familiarise myself with the books before I was able to sufficient undertake my office.

It would be my chance to move the Kingdom's books over to double entry bookkeeping, which would help sort out the waste. Before I left, I did request that all of Baelish's assets in the city be confiscated and put to the use of the Treasury, which was granted. It didn't take me long to find my new office and a few moments to notice that Sandor was looking at me with amusement. According to my ever present guard, this was what I got for plotting and planning like a Lannister and not having a solid plan going forward. I just told him to shut his trap while I tried to get my shit together. While pulling out the official books, I hand Sandor summon the four Keepers of the Keys, the King's Counter and Dryer, in that order and bring them here to me. If my father wanted me to do this job, I was going to do the job and not just warm the seat until Tyrion arrived. Whenever the hell that was.

The books were a dry read, and I wasn't sure I understood them, but there was shit was a lot of negative value numbers in them. A good portion of them owed to the Iron Bank of Braavos and my grandfather Tywin, with stupid amounts of interest. This was going to be something of a mess to fix, but hopefully I could sort things out. The King's Counter, a man named Arthur Westlake, was the first to arrive. A gentleman in his forties, with greying hair, he appeared surprised to see me, but accepted by explanation of the situation. It was a short conversation were I outlined what I wanted, an update of all taxes, levies and tariffs currently imposed, to reflect current conditions. Because, as it turned out, that seventeen years of neglect under Robert, plus the chaos that was the end of King Aerys reign, no attention had been paid to updating the tax codes. Almost deliberately so, really. Westlake was apparently a holder over from Aerys who'd kept his head down and dutifully carried out his job with no real problems. Except for the occasional instruction from Baelish to employ this person or that person in a particular post. People he was instructed to fire immediately and replaced with anyone else.

The four Keepers of Keys were next and promptly fired. If memory served they were Baelish's men and I didn't need them around. It wouldn't take me long to fill their roles with Lannister loyalists, which was what we needed right now. Under threat of Sandor, I had them lay their keys on my desk and I found a functionary to send a message to my mother to find four bodies to fill the roles. Not too bad for forty-five minutes worth of work, really. I grinned as Dryer arrived, a look of worry on his face that quickly turned to confusion. Apparently Sandor had taken pains to inform him that the Master of Coin had requested his presence and he was worried that the jig was up about the printing press. With the grin firmly in place, I informed him that he'd need to find a replacement for his old job as my Steward as I was going to be bringing him and the printing press situation under the Master of Coin. He was going to be the first Steward of the Printing Presses, with an office and staff and everything. Well, just as soon as I figured how to organise all that.

Dryer reminded me that I was the Master of Coin and that I probably had people for that, and so I turned to Sandor and asked that he find those people. It didn't take long to wrangle Dryer all of the above listed things, and a budget to develop more printing presses going forward. I also organised the bringing of Baelish's assets under the Master of Coin's purview, including a Steward of Brothels to administer that particular branch of Littlefinger's assets. His lands and holdings would be distributed to the appropriate officers for administration, while his liquid assets and any outstanding debts owed too would be placed in the treasury. A message would be sent to Lady Arryn to appoint someone to govern the Baelish lands. The news of Baelish's execution wasn't going to go down well with Lady Lysa Arryn or Lady Catelyn Stark, who were in love with him and good friends respectively. But that was Eddard's problem.

Me, I had a whole new kettle of fish to deal with…


	8. Chapter 8

It hadn't taken too long for mother to find out about my appointment and strenuously object. No doubt she had a few plans running and more than a couple probably hinged on me not having political power and/or authority. But _father_ was just as adamant that I needed to learn just how boring government work was and that working as Master of Coin for a few weeks would teach me that. It probably wouldn't, but Robert didn't need to know that at this particular juncture. Especially as I spent the first few days reorganising just how things worked. Even with mother objecting to me actually daring to do _work_ instead of lounging around like a good little royal, she still provided me with the people I needed to fill the Keepers of the Keys positions.

Most of the immediate people who may have been loyal to Petyr Baelish and caused trouble were swiftly being fired and replaced with actually competent people. It was going to take a while for it to trickle down to the offices in and around the Seven Kingdoms but it wouldn't hopefully take more than a year. It would give whoever came after me in the job an easier time of things administration wise, which would be nice. Dryer was even settling into his job as the Steward of Printing. Sandor was being sent out with a number of my new agents to ensure that the former employees of Petyr Baelish made the transition to public employment as smoothly as possible. I was even working with Varys to incorporate them into the intelligence service.

Baelish's execution went off without a hitch, and his objects were all ignored outright. Eddard looked decidedly unhappy, and there would undoubtedly be more than a few arguments between him and Robert, but that wasn't my problem. With the influx of cash, we were able to pay for the Tourney to celebrate Stark's appointment as Hand without any drain to the treasury. That was nice and it went off much of a similar fashion as in the television show, which was a change of pace. I was beginning to think I was making too many waves for anything canon to happen. It was a nice break, and I enjoyed spending some time with Sansa, albeit supervised by her father. I was on my best behaviour the entire time, and we managed on chaste kiss before parting ways. Who knows, we might actually make it to the wedding and beyond if this keeps up, but I'm not holding out to much help.

The meeting with the High Septon went well. I explained what I wanted, showed him a few examples of the work we'd done and even took him to see the printing press we'd already constructed. Dyer took a break from constructing our second press to explain how it worked. We currently have a deal with the Faith to start printing their holy books and tracts, under the supervision of a septon or two to make sure their texts aren't abused in any way. I'm also pretty sure they're taking notes to make their own printing presses, but for the moment we're the sole proprietors of that particular invention. Who knows what else we'll be able to do with it. I'm considering talking to Renly before I confront him about his proclivities and getting some sort of book of laws collated, printed and sent throughout the Seven Kingdoms.

As it turns out that I would hold the title of Master of Coins for three weeks. Three interesting and productive weeks. It took this long for Cersei to get it into her head that getting rid of Robert would lessen the hold that I had over her and Jaime thanks to my knowledge of their sleeping together and my true parentage. Thankfully in that time, she'd done nothing chaotic that I couldn't work around and I'd managed to work double entry bookkeeping in as the default method of keeping track of the Crown's money. With Arthur Westlake's recommended changes to the tax code being ratified by Eddard and distributed throughout the land, we'd hopefully be on track to at least breaking even. We'd even initiated plans to start acquiring brothels throughout the Seven Kingdoms and use the proceeds to start paying off our debts. But that would be the problem of the next Master of Coin, who ironically arrived in King's Landing the day of _father's_ death.

But this was all beside the point, Robert Baratheon, First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm was dead and I was to be crowned. Despite my warnings to Ser Barriston Selmy, Cersei was still a sneaky wench and had _father_ killed in a similar fashion, but unlike the show the aftermath was less… chaotic. Having actually taken my advice, Jaime had managed to hide or redirect a lot of the clues that would have otherwise been left behind for Eddard to follow and that meant he was in the dark about my true parentage. Sure he had his suspicions, but he wasn't going to do anything without solid evidence. Thank the gods for that. So, he would serve as Lord Regent and Protector of the Realm until my marriage to Sansa went through, then he would return back to the North where he believed he belonged. King's Landing wasn't for him it seemed or his daughter Arya, who was having dancing lessons – read as sword training – with the former First Sword of Braavos. I'd engaged him for training when he was finished with Arya, as a King should be able to defend himself in a pinch.

One of my first acts through Eddard was to appoint Tyrion Lannister as my Master of Coin, quickly followed by requesting the presence of my grandfather Tywin to serve as my Hand. Eddard was uncomfortable with this request, but agreed that a strong hand would be needed to steer the ship of state and that his experience with politics had taught him that he wasn't entirely up to it. It was nice to see that he had the capacity to learn at least. We would develop a begrudging respect for each other during his short time ruling together, Eddard and I, and even if we would never be friendly, we could at least hold a conversation. I just hoped that sending him and Arya north would stave off the Northern part of the civil war.

Privately, I was more than a little furious with Cersei, who thought herself brilliant for making me King and avoiding all suspicion. Jaime was quick to point out that this was only because I'd blackmailed Lancel into going north to take the black as a member of the Night's Watch and that Ser Barriston was too noble a night to say what really happened. On a personal note, I got the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard reinstated to the Small Council, as a private victory. Still, mother was proving to be a problem. She thought herself smarter than she actually was, and I didn't want to have to spend half my reign as Lord of the Seven Kingdom's cleaning up after her messes. So, with that thought in mind, after a sufficient period of mourning for her late husband, Robert Baratheon, she would be married off to Loras Tyrell to ensure that High Garden didn't decide to pull a quick one.

That deflated her balloon right quick and she started throwing a hissy fit. At this point I might have slapped her a few times. I don't care if you look like Lena Headey, if you were this fucking annoying you were getting slapped around, regardless of gender. That shut her up right quick. In an effort to keep her locked up and away from trouble, I put Sandor in charge of her guard detail. Clegane hated her just as much as I did, and was quite happy to be her chief jailer. It was one of the few times I'd seen an honest to the gods smile on his face. The man might just warm up to me yet. Jaime, on the other hand, I ordered to keep away from Cersei and told Clegane to kick Jaime's arse if he tried anything.

I wasn't expecting Cersei to be an easy prisoner to keep locked up, but time would tell. And I wondered what Tywin would say on the subject. But that was a discussion for another day, I had seven Kingdom's to lord over…


	9. Chapter 9

**Big Allen –** Going off the show, despite his age Robert did decree that Eddard serve as regent in his will. Assuming a similar thing happening in this reality I did try and justify it as being until Joffrey got married...

**AJ Granger –** It's optics, really. Thus far, outside of a few rumours, Cersei hasn't really done anything to justify killing her to the people at large. Besides, Tywin Lannister might have certain objections to the random beheading of family members. As for killing Robert, as much as Joffrey is going to plot, Cersei will always be Cersei...

* * *

Ruling the Seven Kingdom's was definitely going to be a continuous hard slog. As the liege lord of the Crown lands, I was required to sit in judgement of the local lords and common folk, but thankfully I was excused for the moment as Eddard Stark was willing to do that as Regent. Besides, he was far more experienced at it then I, so I attended periodically to pick up what tips and tricks that I could. Apparently the problems that needed to be dealt with were a bit more complicated than up North as Eddard was deferring to Renly a decent chunk for advice. At least he was willing to seek assistance instead of letting someone else do the job for him. From what I understood, Jon Arryn had done this a lot during his tenure as my _father's_ Hand as Robert couldn't be bothered doing this most days.

Speaking of Renly, he didn't appear pleased with the future plans that were brewing for Loras and my mother. He was grinning and bearing it for the moment, but there was definitely a tension there. I'm sure Loras was whispering sweet nothings in Renly's ear about taking the Iron Throne for himself and leap frogging myself and Tommen in the line of succession. Hopefully that didn't pan out, as I really didn't want to have to put down a civil war, though he will probably be the only one thus far. Except maybe for the Greyjoy's and the Iron Islands. I asked Stannis to send some patrols their way on the basis that the Greyjoy's "may want take this opportunity to exploit a perceived weakness," which is essentially true. I'm just glad that thinks seem calm for the moment, and am waiting for the shit to hit the fan.

The one disagreement I've had with Eddard is over the fate of Gregor Clegane. With the knight in town, I have been all for sending him to Dorne as punishment for what he did during the sack of King's Landing. Stark, however, sees that as somewhat barbaric. Which is fair, but it would go a long way to settle matters between the Iron Throne and the Martells. It was a pleasant surprise that Stark would take this particular take, given his predilection towards justice, but everyone had a right to some contradictions. Ah, well. Once I rule in my own right, it'll be one of the first things I do. Provided Gregor hasn't disappeared off somewhere in the meantime. Though, the presence of my grandfather, Tywin Lannister, may put a stop to that as Gregor is his man as it were. Still, I was King right?

Speaking of the Great Lion of the Rock, he'd accepted my invitation to become Hand of the King for the first time since he'd politically told Aerys the Second of His Name where to shove it. This was doubtless going to be an interesting partnership between Tywin and Eddard, and then between Tywin and myself when I ruled outright. Tywin was used to getting his way in all things, so it was going to see how he butted heads with two very obstinate people with differing ruling styles. My bet was on whatever wall nearby outlasting argument wise, or so Sander joked the last time I got to see him. He's been busy trying to keep a lid on Cersei. She was ever the chaotic one, trying to worm herself back into power.

Thus far mother had made at least three attempts to escape her imprisonment and eliminate her perceived enemies to power. This was mostly focused on killing Sandor Clegane and Eddard Stark. Sandor because he wasn't tempted by anything she had to offer and Eddard because he held the position she coveted so gods damned badly. I'm honestly surprised she hasn't been more successful by this point, but I'm chalking that up to the Hound who is craftier than anyone has given him credit for, including myself. I'm definitely going to have to find a way to keep him employed and entertained. I just hoped he didn't find an excuse to justifiably killed Cersei before Tywin arrived to attempt to talk some sense into her.

The printing side of things is looking relatively solid; Grand Maester Pycelle isn't entirely convinced of its usefulness but is coming around. If I can use him to convince the Conclave of the Archmaesters then I'll be away laughing. With access to that amount of books, texts and other records would be gods damned amazing. I've had Renly, or more than likely his underlings, working on compiling a tome of the laws and legal traditions of the Seven Kingdoms for publication and distribution to all the major and minor lords. Given the chaos of the last couple of decades, I thought it best to right the ship of state and pointing towards a common direction, and having everyone on the same legal page is a start.

Slowly paying off the Iron Bank is also a good idea, and I've been slowly compiling the proceeds from the printing we've been doing for the Faith of the Seven and from running Baelish's estate to form a reasonable down payment toward paying it all down. I'm aiming for about fifty thousand to a hundred thousand dragons, depending on how quickly the money accrues. It also keeps reminding me that I need to discuss the repaying the Crown's debt to the Lannisters, as that's practically as large as the debts owed to the Iron Bank. If we can clear the books of that debt, then I'd feel a look freer in saying no to the Lord of Casterly Rock when he tells inevitably starts giving orders. Politics and money suck sometimes, they really do, but at least I have a bit of time before he arrives. I just hope inviting him to be Hand wasn't a stupidly terrible idea that'd bite me in the ass. Or bite too hard if it does, which it probably will. The biting I mean…


	10. Chapter 10

**AJ Granger -** That's a fair point actually, and we'll see if Joffrey considers that going forward.

**Guest -** As would Joffrey. Seeing her expression would bring some much needed catharsis.

**Guest -** Joffrey's doing his best to minimise the damage, but there might be some that slips through the cracks. But, we'll just have to wait and see there...

* * *

Tywin has finally arrived in King's Landing and has already begun trying to flex his political muscles. First was his attempt at releasing Cersei from her imprisonment, but Sandor wouldn't move without my say so, no matter the threats my grandfather plied him with. The next was attempting to hold a meeting of the Small Council in the Tower of the Hand without the presence of myself or Eddard Stark. Thankfully Varys liked me more than he liked Tywin and I was able to send a message to Ned in time for both of us to attend. I smiled cheekily at Tywin's obvious annoyance at our presence at the meeting while he caught up on the happenings of the Seven Kingdoms. He was a man who liked taking charge and I was stabbing that sensibility in the eye with a needle.

It was enough to earn me a one on one discussion in my Solar not too long after the Small Council meeting. Tywin had asked me to stay behind, but I'd told him if he wanted to talk then I'd be in my solar and he could do it there. Definite power play and it looked like it wouldn't work for a few moments before he relented. There may have been a begrudging respect there, but I could've been mistaken. I thought it was important to set out who was in charge from the start. As much as Eddard was still around, it wouldn't be for much longer as my marriage to Sansa was in a couple of weeks. I'd been spending as much time as I could with Sansa, but the running around I was doing was keeping me busy. Regardless, Tywin was an imposing man to be in a room alone with, so it was easy to see why it wasn't hard for him to get his own way at times. We spoke of what we wanted to achieve with the Seven Kingdoms, and it was obvious that there was some differences in opinion but I gave Tywin the same line that Matt Santos gave Arnold Vinick in the West Wing – "I'll give you all the time you need to set me straight and then I'd expect you to go out and sell whatever decision I've made." And yes, I'm that kind of television nerd, even while playing as the Lord of the Seven Kingdoms.

With a vague outline of how we'd act politically out of the way, at least for the moment, I moved on to a financial agreement. As much as Tywin enjoyed having a Lannister descendent on the Iron Throne, I wanted to make sure that the Crown was living up to its financial obligations. It took a fair chunk of haggling, but we settled on a repayment scheme of 250,000 dragons as year until the sums we owed, plus interest, were paid off provided that the sums were raised from outside the Westerlands. The sum was a little higher than I'd hoped but I wasn't going to complain as it meant that I'd hopefully see the Seven Kingdoms free from debt within my lifetime. Provided I lasted longer than Joffrey did on the bloody show. Which brought me onto Cersei and her machinations. I let Tywin in on what she'd done, conveniently leaving out my true parentage, and why I was keeping her locked up. He seemed about as pleased as I had been.

So, with that in mind, he seemed pleased with the decision to marry her off to Loras Tyrell and get her the hell out of King's Landing. With Robert dead, there were mumblings of dissention here and there, so if we could get as many major alliances as possible beforehand, that'd be nice. But I wasn't expecting miracles. Especially as I was surprised that Loras and Renly hadn't made a disappearing act yet. With the threat of a marriage to Cersei looming over Loras, I figured they would have booked it by now given that they were literally gay for each other. They could've been holding out for Tywin to turn down the deal so that could back to openly being in a secret relationship. The amount of people that were in on what they were doing was gods damn amazing. I am honestly surprised that someone hasn't told on them to the Faith of the Seven by now. I know that if I'd been a lower born noble or a commoner, I would've seen if there was some kind of bounty for turning in such high ranking sinners. Though, in all fairness, I'm assuming the Barathean at the end of Renly's name and the Tyrell at the end of Loras' was helping their case.

Renly had yet to do anything actively against me, so that was a bonus, but it was also worrying as Loras had convinced him to bolt rather quickly. But I passed the problem off to my new Hand to deal with as he saw fit. Provided that Eddard didn't give him instructions on the matter. Not that Tywin was likely to listen to someone like Eddard Stark in that particular regard and I won't blame him. The Lord of Casterly Rock always had the better political mind, as you really didn't need too much of that up North. Unless you were a member of House Bolton. Or a bastard son thereof named Ramsey. Hell, if we weren't stupidly in debt he'd be on my top ten list to hire the Faceless Men to assassinate.

With two of the strongest personalities working for me for the moment, I decided to use the time to take care of a few personal projects. Mostly to do with the printing press. It was earning a reasonable amount from the Faith of the Seven doing their printing work, and taking in a few odd jobs here and there, but I needed its reach and earning potential expanded. This would involve talking to Grand Maester Pycelle. I didn't look forward to the prospect, but it was a necessary evil. Especially if I wanted my dirty little hands on their dirty little books. If I could convince Pycelle that my printing press was a good idea was not going to be an easy sell, if I convinced him at all. Given they were private with their books and papers, it would be an uphill. But, who knows? I could be surprised.


	11. Chapter 11

What the hell is it with the people of Westero and their fucking propensity for secrets?! As it turns out the illustrious Grand Maester also finds himself in possession of a secret – he is not the crusty, scatter-brained fool that the rest of the castle perceives him to be. If the performance he put on in his chambers is to be believed, then he's something of a survivalist with a good eye for politics and eschewing the political manoeuvrings of his Small Council compatriots. It was all just so cringe worthy, really as it left only Tywin Lannister who didn't have some changing secret to his name that I could remember. Eddard had been hiding a Targaryen right out in the open; Tyrion was hiding a whore amongst Sansa's ladies in waiting; Varys was helping the Targaryen's overseas; Renly was in an openly secret gay relationship… Wait, no. Stannis. Stannis didn't have anything going on as he hadn't met Melisandre and hopefully wouldn't. That made him one of the few honest men in the Government right now. Bullocks.

Still. Could be worse, at least I had a fair idea of who was doing what and what to avoid. At least for the most part at any rate. Regardless, even with the Pycelle revelation, he was somewhat sure that the Conclave of Archmaesters weren't about to let an outside like me get my dirty little hands on their shit. But they'd probably be happy to purchase a printing press. Le sigh. It was worth a try, at least. But he did suggest asking around the lords and knights of the ream and seeing what could be done there, which I set him to doing on the side. It'd be interesting to see what I could get printed and what I could add to the Crown's libraries. I suggested also sending messages further afield, to places like the Free Cities and seeing what could be done there. If there was enough interest, it might be possible to establish a branch somewhere like Braavos.

Regardless, I know had someone else working with me to do things. Pycelle was a staunch Lannister loyalist and since I was one of the mayor players in that family, which garnered a certain amount of loyalty. I just had to juggle with Tywin, as he was player. Or at least the longer player. I was almost beginning to think I'd made a mistake inviting the old fucker to be my Hand, for the hundredth time, and discarded it. Better to have him nearby and working in my best interest as opposed to against them and somewhere else, right? I'm definitely going to be visiting and revisiting that decision for a long time yet, I could feel it. Such was things, apparently. One day I'd move on from it, or replace him. Until then, we both had jobs to do. Well, he does at least. I get to avoid responsibility for a little while longer. Thank the gods for Robert Baratheon and his Will appointing Ned until my marriage to Sansa.

As to that, plans were going on around me as things were organised. I'd been fitted for a new outfit for the wedding and there was a dinner being sorted. I was occasionally pulled out of what I'd been doing to welcome this or that major lord and/or lady and make some small talk with them for a little bit before they were taken away to be given salt and bread. In the books, from memory, Tywin had issued a tax on sex with prostitutes, but thankfully the Iron Thrones finances were on the mend so that wasn't necessary this time around. It had meant a little borrowing from Tywin, but that had been figured into our negotiations and something he'd already brought with him when I'd summoned him to be Hand of the King. I just hoped that I only had to do it the once, as I doubted that I'd be able to do it again anytime soon. But, then again, who knew what would happen in this game of thrones? I could be marrying someone else in only a couple of months' time. Which reminded me – I still hadn't found an excuse to get Margery Tyrell to visit, which was unfortunate.

Visiting my mother once she married Loras would be the perfect excuse, of course. Or if I needed to marry Tommen to her and bring her to court. She'd be a tempting distraction, but unlike my _father_, I'd have to keep my marital focus on Sansa. I didn't want to do jeopardise that particular section of the Kingdoms. Regardless, I was getting married and I was slightly nervous. So was Sansa, in all fairness, but she'd also been dreaming of this day for as long as she could remember – marrying a King who loved and cared for her and was willing to heed her words. She didn't have much practical advice to offer yet, as she hadn't had any practical experience, but she did often comment on the happenings of the day. Hopefully that was something I could encourage going forward. I didn't want to be alone atop the mountain that was Westerosi politics when I could have some beautiful company.

With so many problems getting at least superficially solved and organised, I was slowly running out of things to occupy my time outside of ruling the Seven Kingdoms. I'd send a summons out for the former Maester Qyburn to serve as an advisor on medicine, one for Bronn so I could I appoint him head of the City Watch, and ensured that Sandor Clegane was still near King's Landing. All of whom would be subject to some of my earliest proclamations and decrees, if I could wrangle it. Tywin wasn't going to be happy about much of it, but he could suck a fat dick. I had an idea of what I wanted and by the gods I was going to see them through. I'd also set up an appointment with Hallyne of the Alchemists' Guild. There was a whole bunch of unaccounted for Wildfire in and around King's Landing and I wanted it accounted for and in a safe place. I was also considering sponsoring the Guild and ensuring their continued loyalty to the Iron Throne. Also, I was certain that their library had some fine reading in it, and I wanted my dirty little hands on it. Especially if the Maester's were going to be cagey with what they knew…


	12. Chapter 12

So, as it turns out, I was right to be worried about the Iron Islands. They apparently saw my allowing Eddard Stark to rule as Regent until my wedding as a sign of weakness and not respect toward Robert Baratheon. This is more than a little unfortunate… for them. Without the distraction of the War of the Five Kings, we are actually in a position to deal with them immediately and efficiently. Like the television show one of their opening salvos was attacking the Lannister fleet. Stannis Baratheon was sent to deal with the problem as Master of Ships and instructed not to return until he had succeeded in putting down the threat. He also carried sealed instructions from myself that weren't be opened until such times as victory had been achieved and they had the Greyjoy's in hand.

It was likely to get a few people miffed with me, but a statement needed to be made that you didn't mess with Joffrey Baratheon and come out smelling like roses. I just hoped it didn't get me seen in the same light as the original inhabitant of this body as I was actively working to avoid that wherever possible.

On a side note, it turns out, the Alchemists' Guild were more than happy to curry favour with the Lord of the Seven Kingdoms. As it turns out they'd enjoyed the power they had under Aerys II and were sorely disappointed to lose power and the prestige that went with it under the rule of Robert and Jon Arryn. They were pleasantly surprised to get an invite from me, were all smiles when they heard that I was here to help. Apparently they had kept records of where Aerys had wanted the wildfire kept that he'd commission and would be more than happy to find somewhere to keep it. I suggested in a keep near King's Landing that it would be here within hours, but far enough away that an explosion wouldn't affect the city so much, if at all. With that in mind there was a small keep a day and a half's travel that I was willing to gift the Guild for wildfire storage and the manpower to expand underground storage and to protect the place as needed. As dangerous as the explosive substance was, I wanted it under my exclusive control, and to that end I also granted the head of the Alchemists' Guild a seat on the Small Council.

If the Grand Maester's got a seat, I see no reason why the other major institute of knowledge doesn't deserve one as well. Pycelle was probably going to have kittens, and it would do my desire to get access to the Maester's libraries damage, but I had plenty of time to repair that relationship. In theory at least, who knew how long I would actually reign. I'm hoping for a fair few decades, but who knows when I'd get my ass assassinated or for what reason. I just hope I didn't give Tywin a heart attack when Hallyne starts attending Small Council meetings. In fairness, it would be amusing to see how everyone would react really. Sometimes, I could be something of an ass.

Still, this would come within a few days, as I managed to survive getting married to Sansa of House Stark, the red haired beauty of the North. She looked resplendent as she walked down the aisle and we recited our vows before the gods. We would honour the olds Gods by having a private ceremony later, and I promised to set aside a small wood for prayer at my earliest convenience. But that could wait as there were more pressing matters to attend too, like the consummation of our marriage, which I undertook with great enthusiasm and stamina. Oh, how I admired the vigour of being sixteen again and the physical ability that came with it. Especially when one made an effort to keep in shape, as I had. Then, once the afterglow of twelve or so hours in bed was done, I set about assuming my full power as the Lord of the Seven Kingdoms. As agreed to by myself, Eddard Stark and Tywin Lannister my style was to officially be thus: **Joffrey of Houses Baratheon and Lannister, the First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm**. The last of those titles I held for a matter of moments as I quickly passed it off to Ser Barristan Selmy as soon as I could form the words. I felt wholly incapable of executing the related duties as I had no practical experience in martial affairs outside of the sword training I'd had, and while shocked at the appointment, he accepted it.

I confirmed the rest of my Small Council, and issued what would be my first major policy directive – that all sentences of death were to be commuted to service in the Night's Watch. Further that the death sentence was officially off the table and that service in the Night's Watch would be the recommended sentence. With Winter coming I wanted to make sure that the protectors of the Wall had as many members as I could actively provide them, and I established that if anybody lacked the necessary funds to send their criminals north that the Crown would be happy to lend a hand. All of this went over like a led balloon with Tywin who looked ready to murder me in my sleep. I supposed I should have consulted with him first, but he would potentially have tried to talk me out of it, and I couldn't have that.

Further, I removed Janos Slynt removed as Commander of the City Watch and replaced with Bronn, who'd arrived on the day of my marriage. I offered him a pile of gold to root out the subtle corruption of the Watch and then deal with the obvious corruption, in whatever way that he saw fit. He commented on the irony of such an offer and I just shrugged and noted that I was happy to do whatever it took to get the job done. That earned me a measure of respect, as did the comment that I would quite happily double whatever bribes he was offered.

Furthering the fun of these early moments of my reign, I announced the marriage of my mother to Loras Tyrell and the unification of Houses Lannister and Tyrell, to be undertaken as soon as negotiations were completed. Renly's expression looked like he'd just sucked on a rotten egg, but there was nothing he could do about it without raising a stink. I'm sure someone had already threatened him to let it be. Still, probably best to check in with him later and see if he wanted the hell out of King's Landing and his job as Master of Laws.

For my final two shocks of my first hour as Lord of the Seven Kingdom's in my own right, I granted Tyrion Lannister the castle of Harrenhal, "_with all its attendant lands and incomes to be held by your sons and grandsons from this day until the end of time._" That really drew the ire of Tywin, but so did the announcement that the Alchemists' Guild as advisors to the crown. Many of the older generation still remember the Mad King's love of fire and burning his enemies, but I explained that I saw the seeking of knowledge and enlightenment as paramount to my reign. For all of the good it probably didn't do. It was going to get tongues wagging and plots hatching, but it was the direction I wished to go in. Only time and the gods would show how this played out.

With all of that said and done, I took my leave of the throne room, calling end to court for the day…


	13. Chapter 13

I was right to assume that Tywin Lannister had more than a few things to say about the proclamations and appointments I'd made. He was mad as all get the hells out and wasn't shy about making it known. He threatened resignation if I continued to act so stupid, which just caused me to smile softly. Once he was done, I explained my side of things – I wanted to gain a reputation as a just man, and what better to do so then by getting rid of the death penalty, besides the Night's Watch could do with the men; the City Watch was as corrupt an organisation as they came and some fresh blood to clean it out and Bronn came recommended by Varys; raising Tyrion to a lordship all his own put him out of major contention for inheriting his titles, and made him the Tully's problem in the grand scheme; as for the Alchemists' Guild, I was being earnest about my reasoning behind elevating them to the Small Council.

That calmed Tywin down some, but instructed that any proclamations or appointments of that calibre should be run by him first in the future. Mostly to ensure that he wasn't as surprised by such things going forward, but I also figured that it was so that he change my policies to his needs. Still, deliberately overlooking that subtext, I informed him that I would be sending Gregor Clegane to the Prince Dorn with the Iron Throne's blessing to do with the man as the Martell's pleased. It was my opinion that the man had committed a series of grevious offences in the killing of Rhaegar's two children and the rape Elia during the sack of King's Landing as a part of Robert's Rebellion. Tywin objected on the grounds that Gregor was a useful tool and knight of great martial skill, I countered with the fact that he was a violent sociopath citing his actions at the Tourney held in Ned Stark's appointment as Hand. Also what he did to Sandor's face and the rumours of what he did to the servants and people at Clegane Keep during his youth.

No matter Tywin's objections, I wouldn't hear it and ordered that he do as he told, and that he was always welcome to resign as Hand and return to the Rock. It wasn't often that Tywin cowed to anyone but in the silent staring contest after I lay the statement on the table, he backed down first. The Badge of the Hand still firmly affixed to his chest. A small victory to be sure, but a necessary one as I needed to establish just who ate and who collected the shit. Hopefully once the Martell's had their fill with Gregor, they would be less inclined to rebellion and antagonism. The rest of the day was spent in catching up on the normal paperwork associated with being an absolute monarch, and nothing major was issued policy wise. Except for an inconsequential proclamation directed towards Maester's, nursemaid's and anyone who deal in the healing arts to wash their hands in hot water before they undertook healing services or with babies, and other related procedures. It wasn't much, but I was sure it would help health wise.

The next day saw my first Small Council out of the shadow that was Eddard Stark's regency, and while he attended the meeting, it was purely perfunctory as I knew most of the business going in. I offered my thanks for his service in the transition and that if there was ever anything that the House of Baratheon could do for House Stark, all they had to do was ask. That elicited a small smile and his thanks, along with an announcement that he would be leaving by the end of the week and returning to the North and his family. With that out of the way, we carried on with the business of the moment and got things done and decided.

The rest of the week was spent familiarising with myself my new duties and responsibilities, and with the departure of the Starks. Well, with notable exception of course. But that was too be expected as I wasn't about to leave my wife out of my sight whenever possible. Still, I made an offer to Arya that if she ever wanted to join the Kingsguard when she grew up and there was an opening, it was hers. That got a scoff out of Eddard and we shared a grin. But, before he left, I took Eddard aside and had something of a discussion about a certain Jon Snow and his real name and heritage. His reaction gave me enough mirth to last a long while but we got serious right quick. I informed that I cared not about his heritage as he was currently sworn to the Night's Watch and could inherit both Jack and Shit or be a threat to anyone. But I warned that if he became a problem, that I would make it the North's problem to deal with.

With that said, I left him too it. I could feel his eyes on me as I retreated. Outside of Varys, Eddard was the first person I'd revealed any level of my knowledge of the show too, but I hadn't revealed the fact of Jon's parentage to Varys. Mostly because that would probably complicate things and play into his Targaryen fetish, which was a thing I'd like to avoid where possible. Especially considering I had a land to rule with an iron fist. Or as close to as my morals would allow, which wasn't saying all too much, given the instructions I'd left with Stannis. But exceptions could apparently be made. I just hoped that I made them often. Hopefully Sansa would prove a stabilising force, lest I end up like Tywin or any of the Mad King's lot.

With all that dealt with, I returned to the presence of Sansa and the comfort of her company. Any time spent with her was pleasant, and I invited her to sit in on Small Council meetings. The next one, the first with a prepared Hallyne, would be an interesting sight to see. For me at least, as I was interested to see how he and Pycelle would get on. I would be even more interested when Qyburn finally arrived. It also served to remind me that I wanted to send for Brienne of Tarth. The lack of Sandor had left me feeling vulnerable and I wanted someone similar for my lady-wife. Besides, I also found that I missed his presence and wit, which was something I hadn't expected…


	14. Chapter 14

So, I may need to establish some kind of council for those members of the Small Council with an educational bent to allow them to hash out their philosophical differences so that they don't take up time during meetings. Most because Hallyne and Pycelle spent an ungodly amount of time sniping at each other during the meeting, and both advised the removal of the other. Thankfully Tywin got sick of it before I did and ordered their silence so that actual business could be conducted. We were lacking Stannis, due to his dealing with the Iron Islands rebellion, but the inclusion of Hallyne kept us at the same number. We would soon be losing a Tyrion, however, due to his wanting to visit his new holdings and actually be a presence in the castles governance. Which was commendable to say the least, though I pondered out loud what we'd do money wise without a Master of Coin.

Tyrion had thought of this, and with my blessing, appointed my old employee Dryer to serve his place until such time as he could return. I definitely appreciated this kind of forethought, which is something that Stannis had neglected. But, in fairness, he had taken practically the entire fleet with him and there was no real need to have a Master of Ships without any ships for there to be a master of. Regardless, the Iron Throne's finances were slowly normalising, even with the agreement with Tywin Lannister and the repayment efforts to the Iron Bank. It was going to take longer than a couple of months to get things back on a normal footing, but not spending thousands of dragons every other month on tourney's would help. As would not keeping the castle drowned in alcohol or throwing lavish feasts every night for everyone in a hundred mile radius. Thrifty spending and a good tax policy were my watch words. Once we'd settled down in a couple of years, I was considering establishing a centralised army to match the centralised navy, but that was a pipe dream and would need to come after the fight against the White Walkers. Or during.

I was still in the process of figuring out some long term goals. The financial situation of the Iron Throne was correcting itself now that it had some competent oversight and weren't borrowing to meet every other expense. A lot of the chaos that had sent the Seven Kingdoms into civil war had been settled or hadn't gotten out yet. Eddard Stark was returning North with Arya, which was an achievement unto itself. Cersei would be getting marry to Loras Tyrell in a couple of months' time and would be hopefully moving to Highgarden to live out her days well away from any real, and would have Olenna to counteract her. Renly wasn't running away to raise an army, nor was Stannis. Sure, they were both being surely – Renly because his lover was leaving soon and Stannis because that seemed to be his default mood.

The Long Night was coming, but I couldn't do much about that for the moment. If I started raising an army people would get suspicious, and the expense would be stupidly high, and would counteract what I was doing with the treasury. I'd done what I could to increase the membership in the Night's Watch with the Decree requiring that all those sentenced to death be sent to them instead. What numbers that would generate would yet to be seen, but would hopefully be reasonable, but more than likely not enough in the grand scheme. It would be up to Jon and his compatriots to negotiate with the free folk beyond the Wall. Hopefully he wasn't smart enough to not get stabbed this time around, but it was doubtful.

Reminded of my travel Northward, I set about appointing a Chancellor of the Kings Road and charging them with inspecting the infamous road and its various offshoots and criss-crosses. Once they had a census of what was there, so set about repairing what was there, upgrading where necessary and constructing off-roads and the like, with an eye on efficient travel. If I could get things moving quicker throughout the Seven Kingdoms, then the money would flow better as would the goods and services it paid for. Or the quicker tax receipts would arrive in the royal treasury for me to spend on crazy projects like this. It would also allow the better movement of the armies of the various lords of the land, which would help greatly. I then sought out Dryer to assist in sorting out a budget for the new office and its employees so work could get started, which was bound to make him the opposite of a happy chappy.

It really didn't, but he did have some positive news however. There was some definite interest in the printing press in Braavos. Apparently there was a thriving map-making industry over there and any assistance in the speed up of that process would be appreciated. Also, they were far more open in their production of books, and would quite possibly welcome a process of getting books to the masses. I authorised Dryer to establish a printing office in the city, but to send only people he trusted not to stab us in the back at the first opportunity. I didn't want the design of the printing press to leak out to a competitor for a while yet. There was something to be said for being the sole holder of an invention.

Speaking of that, I'd also given the Alchemists' Guild one of their first major assignments – the reproduction of gun powder. As far as I could tell from the show, and what little I knew of the books, it wasn't really a thing in Westeros, which was something I wanted to take advantage of. I wanted to get the Guild started on reproducing the stuff if possible, as a more stable alternative to wildfire, but I also wanted to find various ways of using it offensively. It was a potential weapon against my enemies, and creating it through the Guild, a notoriously secretive organisation with a habit of buying/creating weird ingredients, was a great way to go. I also requested that they get together with Ser Barriston and Pycelle when they had a couple of batches and figure out how to deliver them at range during a battle. If I could establish death from above, then I would be a happy man.

So many things being achieved, I just hoped I was overdoing things and accidentally dragged us into a new type of chaos…


	15. Chapter 15

So, that's what a Tywin temper tantrum looks like. Well, a serious one at any rate. Definitely something to be afraid of, that was to be sure. You see, the note I'd sent with Stannis had been opened, read and begrudgingly executed as he and the naval forces of the Crown had beaten down the Iron Island fleet. The decree that the letter contained, signed using my currently titles, decreed the elimination of the Greyjoy family except for Theon in Winterfell and Asha, a current resident of the Islands. It also called for an Ancient Rome-style decimation of the crews of the ships of the Iron Fleet. As in they would all line up in groups of ten, draw lots and nine would beat the drawerer of the short straw to death with their bare hands. I hoped that it would be a brutal reminder of what it was truly like to pay their so-called _Iron Price_. This was their price for daring to betray the Iron Throne. These executions were the exception to my stay on executions as a message needed to be sent. The decree lastly called for a kingsmoot of the Iron Islands to elect a new ruler of the islands. If Theon or Asha got the title, full power to them, if not, well, hopefully they'd be somewhat more cowed after what they'd had done to them.

Regardless, since it was another thing that I'd failed to inform Tywin about, he was pissed. Adding to that was what he perceived as unnecessary violence. Which was ironic, coming from him, but I sat and listened. All the islanders needed to be was pacificed, to which I reminded him that my father had done that and many members of the Targaryen's had done that. And yet, here we are having to pacify them once again. This way, the Iron Islanders would think twice about rebelling against the Iron Throne in the future as we have taught them how _we_ pay the iron price for their continued loyalty. Or so I hoped at rate, it could spur them towards rebellion in the future, but for right now they were rather busy licking their wounds and sending their dead out to sea. Still, my arguments didn't do much to stay the anger of my grandfather, but it did lessen it somewhat and he did congratulate me on my critical thinking. He seemed to possess the opinion that this kind of tactic would only breed resent and have the islanders thinking about revenge. So, exactly the opposite opinion to mine, to keep a long story short.

I could understand that, and time would tell as to which one of us was correct. I apologised for not informing Tywin sooner, but my dealings with Cersei and Jaime had taught me that it was regularly in my best interests to keep things away my mother's side of the family. In the spirit of opening up to my Hand and ensuring the continuity of things, I let him know about the dealings I was going to be having in Braavos, the wildfire currently stored not too far from the city, the gunpowder (or black powder as I was calling it), and the Master of Roads goings on. Sufficed to say that he needed to take a few moments to absorb what I'd just told him. There was plenty I _wasn't_ telling him of course – about Jon Snow for example – but this was some of the stuff he needed to know. I resisted the urge to smile as he calculated what I was trying to achieve.

After a while he nodded, and asked to be kept informed at Small Council meetings. I shrugged and agreed. It was a reasonable request and the stuff I was doing was bound to come up at the meetings anyway, so best he find out now and not later and get even angrier. Though, I got the feeling that he'd be doing his best to keep an eye on me and what I was doing from here on out so that this sort of thing didn't happen again. This was going to be fun to be sure as our personalities clashed.

Not too much later, Qyburn showed up. The former Maester was somewhat confused as to why the Crown would be interested in a man like him, which just caused me to grin. I put what cards I had on the table – I was aware of the medical testing he had undertaken and why he'd been expelled from the Citadel. I added that while I didn't necessarily agree with his methods, the results had spoken for themselves. All of which surprised him, as he wasn't aware that any of what he'd done would have reached his ears, I merely commented on the efficiency of the Iron Throne's intelligence apparatus and that we knew more than people gave us credit for. Still, after a short conversation about whether he wanted to continue his work – which he did – I offered him the chance to work for me. As in my Joffrey Baratheon, not the Iron Throne or the Small Council or anything like that. Having someone like that on the payroll would definitely be useful and I didn't want it getting back to Tywin or anything like that.

All it took was a discussion with the Keeper of the Second Key, who dealt with funds regarding the king's purse-funds for the king's personal interests. Hiring and funding Qyburn definitely counted as that, and it kept it off Tywin's radar, along with Tyrion when he returned and reassumed the Master of Coin position. It took a little readjusting as I'd offered no real notes on my official interests since I'd assumed the Iron Throne, but it was soon handled. The former Maester was officially hidden away somewhere in the books and I swore the Keeper to secrecy by threat of Sandor visit.

Which reminded me, I needed to get Cersei out of here as soon as was humanly possible. She'd been keeping quiet of late and that had me worried…


	16. Chapter 16

**Demitius -** Indeed. Mostly because one of my readers corrected me about how old Jeoffrey was in television show, so I corrected it to bring things in line with the show going forward. I'm not entirely confident in my knowledge of this site to edit too much, so my apologies on the confusion.

* * *

Turns out Lysa Arryn was something of a problem that I'd let fester, and the news that Petyr Baelish had been executed sent her over the edge. Or that was the news we were getting from the Vale at any rate. She'd apparently taken to believing that the Lannister's were out to get her family and was attempting to raise a force to take on the Westerlands. It seemed to be somewhat insane as plans went, but it seemed that was where her mind went without Baelish's guidance or direction. Sigh. While many of the Arryn loyalists were willing to raise the banners, they were somewhat hesitant to take on the infamous Lannister armies. Self-preservation for the win, I guess. Still, Lysa had been putting out feelers to the surrounding Lords and bannerman in what she supposed to be a secret and conspiratorial manner to see what kind of force could be mustered.

It would be laughable if it wasn't a potential threat to the Iron Throne and sowed the seeds of rebellion in the minds of the various lords across the Seven Kingdom's. Which was exactly what I _didn't_ need right now, especially given what I'd recently done to the Iron Islands. Word hadn't entirely spread throughout the land about what I'd done to the Greyjoy's and to the various ironborn crews, except maybe for the North. A note or two I'd received from Eddard suggested that such acts were likely to get people in the North talking and mumbling, but it wasn't anything he couldn't control. But that the rumblings from the Vale were likely to get a few Northern bannerman interested and perhaps itching for a try at the hated westerners. It was enough to have even Tywin slightly concerned, or at least concerned enough to order Ser Barristan to undertake his duties as Protector of the Realm and go scare the Vale and whatever other forces into submission.

The concurrent move would be to appoint a new Lord Regent of the Vale to replace Lady Lysa. Tywin wanted someone from King's Landing, with an eye towards Jaime or Tyrion, but I suggested someone local as the Vale, like the North, was somewhat particular about whom they'd allow to lead them. Even as Regent. So, with that in mind, it was suggested that the next in line to the Lordship of the Lordship of the Eyrie Ser Harrold of House Hardyng would serve as Regent and protector of Lord Robin until such time as he came of age. It wasn't going to be a popular decision, but it would do. I asked Varys to keep an eye on the situation and hopefully it wouldn't get out of hand. Even though it probably would.

Speaking of that area of the world – with House Stark's permission we would be sending experts North to see what, if any, resources were hiding under the cold lands of his lands. I figured that there had to be something that they could provide outside of honourable men and people willing to join the Night's Watch without having committed a crime first. Also, honest amounts of taxes as, according to Tyrion and Dryer, they actually paid on time and in the amounts asked for. This was fucking amazing, really, as I expected at least some corruption, even if only in minimal amounts. Something I was currently attributing to the presence of Eddard Stark more than actual honesty or the like.

In other, potentially related, news, Renly had asked to be recused from his seat on the Small Council on the grounds that the Stormlands had been without their lord for far too long. I had to stop myself from chuckling, as it happened that Loras was also planning to leave for Highgarden soonish so that preparations for his wedding to Cersei could begin in earnest. I guessed that they potentially wanted to spend some time together before politics kept them both apart. Or so that Loras could convince Renly to rise up against me and take the Iron Throne for himself. It'd be laughable if it wasn't a possible recipe for trouble. It renewed my internal debates about whether I should sell them out to the Faith of the Seven but that also had to potential for trouble. I really hated complicated problems, as I'd always been a simple problems and simple solutions kind of guy before becoming Joffrey. But ruling a place like the Seven Kingdoms seemed like it was going to generate a fair few complicated problems for me to solve.

I left the decision on whether or not Renly would be allowed to leave to Tywin. With the amount of decisions I'd been making on my own recognisance of late, I felt that that he deserved having a few problems laid in his lap. Especially as he'd have a better idea of the potential solutions then I. Tywin decided to let Renly go on the basis that he left within the week, while Loras, Cersei and a delegation of Lannister men would be heading out independently and at a later date. Apparently even Tywin was aware of how close Renly and Loras were, or he was just playing it safe. Either way, it generated a sour expression on Renly's face, but he nonetheless accepted and departed. Smiling at Tywin, I asked him to go about finding a new Master of Laws so the office didn't stay vacant for too long. Especially as I planned to actually sit in justice of those over whom I ruled directly and would need the advice of a man more learned in the law than I to assist me. Tywin's reaction elicited a small grin on my part and I could see Varys suppressing a smile. Tywin seemed happy to advise me for the moment and would sort out the matter promptly, which I appreciated.

With those plans in motion, I asked Tywin to post guards with my mother so as to release Sandor from his duties as her babysitter, which he agreed too. I asked the Council if a scribe could be spared from somewhere in the castle to keep a record of the meetings of the Small Council, if only to ensure the continuity of governance. With the frequent comings and goings of late it wouldn't take too much for the Small Council to lose its place. Not that I was planning on dying, but forward planning wouldn't hurt. It was agreed that Pycelle would take charge of that particular job and keep me informed. Tywin seemed to approve of the idea, which was surprising, and a little unexpected, so I must've done something right there.

Now, to see what kind of problems would arise with the departure of Renly and Loras and whether they'd be as much trouble as I considered them to be…


	17. Chapter 17

It didn't take Tywin too long to find someone to find Renly on the Small Council. Mostly because I don't think he enjoyed my view of justice – or actually siding with who I perceived to be on the right side of any particular argument brought before me. Despite his frequent lectures about siding with those who'd be allies or merchants who'd could be persuaded to give us deals, and my ignoring of those lectures. The seat was offered to someone of House Tyrell's choosing so as to continue to curry favour with the rulers of Highgarden. Loras appointed one of his retinue, Arthyr Ashford, second in line to inherit the Lordship of Ashford, who would serve until such time as he was able to inform his father (who'd appoint whoever Lady Olenna would tell him to appoint) and he sent word on the subject.

Arthyr was a young man, who'd apparently been Loras' advisor on the subject of the law. Which was nice, as it meant I had someone experienced in the position he held. I brought him up to speed on the collation of the laws task I'd given to Renly and that I wanted him to check on the progress made. After a brief discussion on why I wanted such a thing and the related merits, he took to the task with enthusiasm. Which surprised me slightly, as I wasn't expecting such a thing out of someone who'd been appointed in haste as Loras was getting the hell out of town. There was a contingent of Lannister soldiers escorting Cersei, which was larger than it should have been. Tywin wanted her to actually get there in one piece I'd imagine, and my grandfather had made doubly sure that everyone in the escort was loyal to him and made sure they understood what would happen to them if they failed him.

During Cersei's imprisonment, I'd considered her having some kind of _accident_ and dying, and marrying my younger brother Tommen to Margaery instead. It was something I was still considering as they were escorting her to the carriage she'd be travelling to Highgarden in, but she was too well guarded in at this point. And would garner suspicion from the Tyrell's and my grandfather and would undoubtedly lead to some sort of conflict, which I was desperately trying to avoid where possible. I was expecting keeping my mother alive would come back to bite me in the ass at some point, but hopefully we would be secure enough to weather it when her revenge came around. Who knew, there might a civil war yet.

Speaking of things coming back around, the Martell's were apparently appreciative of the gift that I'd sent them. That gift being the Mountain of a Man known as Gregor Clegane, who'd done his best to prove himself a complete and utter douchebag in the past I'd sent to pay for at least some of his crimes. They had elicited every scream and cry of pain out of him that they could muster before allowing him to die a slow, torturous death, which I'm sure, was extremely cathartic to them. And while it didn't entirely mend the bridge, which I could understand, it would start the process in earnest. A process I hoped to engage in by offering them a seat on the Small Council, with Tywin's blessing, to advise on topics they considered important. It was interesting that I was slowly enlarging the membership of the Small Council – thus far I'd added a representative of the Alchemists' Guild, added a Master of Roads to the mix and was now bringing a representative of the oft ignored Dorne to the table. If I kept this up, we'd have to rename the Small Council to something else entirely. Something I wouldn't object to at all.

I believed in receiving advice before I made a particular decision, and also making sure the responsibilities of the Realm were being met by appropriate officers of the Iron Throne. The Master of Roads position would hopefully become a permanent position, given that I had more than just dealing with the Kingsroad on my mind. Especially considering that for its length, the infamous road only served a small portion of the Seven Kingdoms. If I could establish further highways and byways across the Realm, it would allow me to collect taxes quicker, summon armies faster and allow for better communication. Sure it could be used against me by my enemies, but that was a price I was willing to pay. This is the one lesson that I was willing to learn from the Romans. Or at least capable of learning without an engineering degree at least, as I had no operational knowledge of aqueducts or the like. But I was going to be seeking advice from Tyrion when he got back in regards to updating King's Landings sewers, as I needed some positive press here at home to counteract some of what I'd done.

To that point, I'd started walking the streets of city and interact with the smallfolk alongside Sansa as often as Tywin would allow. This was mostly publicity, but it also gave me a chance to see what I could do to better the city. So far, all I could think of was having Bronn increase the size of the City Watch and start the hiring of smallfolk to clean up the dirty parts of the city. Which was something I'd already doing. It wasn't much so far, and was eliciting more than a little suspicion. Which I could understand, really, given the apathy the King's had previously shown to them. I made a point of listening to all the complaints of the smallfolk I talked to and dealing with their problems as best I could on a scale as small as they were. It was hopefully something I could continue going forward.

Hopefully Tywin would eventually let me go out unprotected, which was doubtful, but a man could hope couldn't he?


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note** – Sorry for the long pause but a combination of real life problems and the imposition of COVID-19 left my muse in something of a shambles. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

**Author's Note 2** \- Apologies for the delete/re-upload. Got a name mixed up and forgot that I could update a chapter without needing to delete it.

* * *

There are already jokes about the Small Council not being so small any more. With the addition of the head of the Alchemists Guild, the upgrading of the Chancellor of Roads to a Master's position on the Council and offering the Dorne's a representative, we were getting slowly bigger. It was my eventual hope that the organisation would form as a viable Cabinet with the Iron Throne and/or the Hand of the King providing policy directions and oversight/coordination. Not particularly likely, given the circumstances surrounding Westeros, but, as always, a dude can dream couldn't he?

I asked Varys to keep an eye on Renly for the moment, as he seems the most likely to stir up trouble of late. Given that I'm marrying off his lover Loras to my mother in order to solidify a political alliance I'm not surprised. It's why he went home in a sulk no doubt. Or so I'm assuming, and I could be wrong there. Hopefully _uncle_ got to whatever evidence out there before Renly got a hold of it and decides that it's his time to take a pot shot at the Throne. Given all the work I've put into keeping the stupid thing, it'd be sad to lose it. Though it would be fun to see the Seven Kingdoms have its first possibly openly gay ruler.

Back on topic though - as part of the deal with the Tyrell's, we will be travelling to Highgarden for the marriage between Loras and mother. Loras, has remained in town after the recusal of his lover, probably at the insistence of his grandmother, and will be using the trip home to get to know his future bride. This because Cersei has been kept locked up in her rooms as a virtual prisoner since I assumed the Iron Throne. Publically this is to ensure that those who were unhappy with my _father's_ don't take the chance to revenge themselves on his widow. Privately, it's because mother thinks herself a proper player in the game of thrones when she's really just a gift amateur with no real goals beyond her own amusement.

If I could think of a way to execute her without pissing off Tywin and the Lannister branch, I would at this point. However, the best I can do currently is pawn her off on the Tyrell's and pray that she keeps her trap shut about her relationship with Jamie and my lineage. Mostly 'cause any war with Highgarden and the Reach isn't what I'm wanting for the Kingdoms right now. The realm is looking like it might slowly start to heal and I don't want it to fracture.

Once I pawn off _mother_, the three major challenges are going to be: the coming long winter, the encroachment of the White Walkers, and the threat of Daenerys Targaryen and her fucking dragons. That's where having the Alchemists Guild working on gun powder will hopefully be handy, along with the secret stash of wildfire not too far from King's Landing.

I've made a point of taking a few days off from my duties to spend some time with my lady-wife Sansa, while I've been stupidly ignoring of late. My grandfather Tywin is a capable administrator and leader, having served as Hand of the King previously with great success. After a number of early reign hiccups we're slowly developing a dialog so that we are both aware of all major projects going on at the moment. That was continuity is ensure and I can spend some time with my beloved without worrying about the heavy weight of my responsibilities for a little while.

Our time together was a continuation of our getting to know each other and the histories of our respective families. Alongside this was a healthy dose of teenaged making out and screwing each other's brains out. While Milady Stark had dreams of being the perfect Queen to the perfect King, she was also aware of the other responsibilities involved in being Queen. Which included producing at least one male heir to the throne. As much as I loved Tommen, he wasn't the kind of person I wanted on the throne. So if I could produce an heir myself, and at least a couple of spares if possible, I would be training them to continue in my efforts to modernise the Seven Kingdoms.

Or at least as modern as I can make it within the context of a medieval-level society. Improving roads and the printing press is about my limit thus far, but I'm dredging up as much SCA and LARP knowledge as I can to see what else I can do. I'd consider introducing rudimentary education, but the lords are bound to laugh me out of town and the Maester's are equally as likely to shut me the hell down. They've been somewhat resistant so far to the idea of the printing press as they believe it would give too many people access to their precious, precious information. I'm tempted to just issue a decree or two on the subject if they resist much further, but I'm having my Master of Laws look at whether or not I can.

Speaking of that, the compilation of laws I requested many months ago is finally finished. I will be sitting down with the Small Council at some point and going over it, with an eye on revamping a lot of what's on the books before sending out copies to the lords of the Seven Kingdoms. If we can all act from the same playbook law-wise that would be nice.

Other things being sorted out include the fact that we have a new Lord of the Iron Islands – Sawane of House Botley, Lord of Lordsport. Apparently he has a modicum of respect among the islanders and the captains. I have sent word up north that Theon may return to his ancestral home and assume the role as head of his house. His sister will surely rule through him as she has the greater respect, but it should allow the House of Greyjoy a chance to regain their lost glory. Besides, with the rest of the House dead I see no reason for the teen to be held hostage in the North.

After the decimation I inflicted upon them, they seem to be a broken people if Stannis is to be believed. He was apparently none-to-pleased about the duty I foisted upon him but understood the brutal duty nonetheless. Hopefully the lesson sticks as I really don't want to have to do anything of its like again in the future. Perhaps if I continue in the Roman tradition I could try crucifixion next? Or burning alive? A little violent, but a possible deterrent if we get any other flare ups across the Kingdoms.

Second-to-lastly, it would appear that the printing office I set up in Braavos has begun operation. It was a bit more expensive than expected, but then again getting most start-ups off the ground usually are. There was also the problem of the Iron Bank sticking their curious little noses into the mix. Given what the Iron Throne owes them, I do not blame them in the slightest. Dyer managed to negotiate a deal with the Bank in one of his last acts as Acting Master of Coin, with a large portion of the income derived from the office's printing operations going to service our debt. Along an added percentage going to them to ensure that the Bank protects our printing presses from industrial action and spying. Nothing like a two-for-one deal I say as it means slowly chipping away at our debt (which had been the plan to begin with) along with ensuring that the development of opposing printing presses should hopefully be delayed.

In a final bit of news – it would appear that my Uncle Tyrion has returned to Kings Landing. Or so Varys' little birds are saying. He's taking his time returning to the place and his duties, but after the months of freedom and what have you, I don't mind a little delaying. So long as he returns to his duties soon enough.


	19. Chapter 19

With Tyrion back in King's Landing we have a full Small Council once again. Which is a nice thing to have really, I guess. Personally, I find the television's version of the Imp to be an improvement as he seems to have a desire to better the Seven Kingdom's and is less likely to be an asshole unless provoked. Thus far achieved by keeping my uncle and grandfather apart as often as possible outside of Small Council meetings, which isn't too hard since they both have no desire to see each other.

I can't blame Tywin for his disliking his youngest son as he reminds the man of the death of his wife. But you'd think a man with such a tactical mind could get past his own feelings and see the full potential Tyrion possesses. But a miracle worker I am not as I leave such things to the gods.

We have officially received a request from the Night's Watch for manpower and supplies. Most of the Small Council scoffed at the request, but Tyrion seemed to take it seriously, as do I. Tyrion for having actually _been_ to the wall and seen the state of the place and me for knowing what's coming. Tywin seemed to have some concerns but thought it a problem for the Watch and the North. I asked Tywin to put together a party to go to the wall to verify the veracity of the request for ourselves, and to Selmy to ascertain what forces could be spared to send northward. If I can get some verification this early in the game, it'll make things easier.

In less impressive endeavours, I have managed to cut down the gigantic book of laws down to a more manageable level. I may not have mentioned previously but the original text was as thick as four phonebooks and as heavy. Centuries of proclamations, decrees and the like would do that, I guess. Especially if one doesn't bother to collate. With a combination of cutting out the outdated, the unnecessary, and the contradictory, along with a fair bit bringing around, I was able to bring it down to about a phonebook and a half. Once the taste of making that look book-worthy was done, I ordered a copy of the finished text be delivered to Tywin for his approval before it be sent off to the lords of the Seven Kingdoms. I have plans to update the codified laws every couple of years so that things can be kept current, along with getting the Lords Paramount getting all the local laws and ordinances codified (with copies sent to me) so that we are all working from the same playbooks.

That done, it was off to Highgarden to play nice with the Tyrell's. Loras had gone off ahead, alongside mother and her entourage. An entourage of people appointed and employed by Tywin, with explicit instructions to not let Cersei undertake or get away with any shady business. We didn't need any bullshit coming out of this, especially not under the watchful eye of Olenna Tyrell. But at least I'll get to see Margery, which'll be nice. If she looks anything like Natalie Dormer, it's going to be hard to not try and figure out a way to legalise polygamy and take her as a second wife. But given the amount of trouble adding even the hint of complication to lines of succession have caused in the past, it's probably best to not.

Hopefully I'll be able to control ye olde teenage hormones and keep myself loyal to Sansa. And if I really want to keep on looking, I can always see about trying to arrange a marriage between Margery and Tommen at some point. Though I doubt I'll be able to do that without Olenna negotiating some serious concessions for the Reach. As it is, I have to find a position on the Small Council for her son Mace Tyrell, the current Lord of Highgarden amongst other promises and a slightly reduced tax burden. Normally the latter would have been a problem, but with the reforms I'd gotten shoved through during my brief tenure as Master of Coin, it wasn't as impactful as it would've been previously.

Normally the Hand of the King would have been left behind to rule in my steed, by Tywin insisted on accompanying me to Highgarden for the marriage proceedings. Ostensibly as Cersei's father, but in actuality to make sure she went through with this and didn't try to fuck with the proceedings. So, much to the Tywin's annoyance, and my amusement, Tyrion was left on the Iron Throne to act as Regent while the party train headed off. It was delightful to see the foul mood exuding from the Lord of Casterly Rock as he dreaded both what lay ahead _and_ what he was leaving behind. I thought Tyrion a highly capable administrator who'd enjoyed his brief time undertaking his duties as Lord of Harrenhal and would enjoy his time on the Iron Throne, as brief as it would be.

In as repeat of my last departure from King's Landing, I left instructions for another private business to be established. This time the subject of my designs was that of whiskey. While ale, beer, mead, and even rum were available as alcoholic beverages, whiskey was not, and after taking longer to realise its unavailability then I should have I have determined to correct that mistake. With designs secured from the Maester himself this time around and modified with both his help and Tyrion's, I have found a design that works. With the functionaries under the command of the Master of Coin working on the problem, I see decent progress upon my return. Even if I don't see a barrel of the divine substance for a year or two, it should be worth the wait. I have also added the easier to produce moonshine to the slate though. If only I could find a way to develop coca cola, I would be the happiest man alive.


	20. Chapter 20

The long and boring trip to Highgarden was both long _and_ boring. As much as one could appreciate nature's beauty and glory, one could only take it for so long before the desire to burn it down and replace it was some kind of civilisation took hold. I wasn't entirely sure how nature lovers stood it all out there in small groups or by themselves. It took the presence of my lady-wife and a certain amount of – _private time_ \- to keep my mind occupied most nights and pleasant conversation with those around me to keep me going during the day.

The infrequent nights away from the presence of Sansa, when she wanted alone time with her ladies, found me actually training. I actually had a sword or two in my possession, mostly as the result of wedding gifts; I'd never really picked them up and decided that now was the chance. I was nothing if a clunky amateur but had a natural dexterity on my side, which I used to my advantage as much as possible. My blows would not be strong, but they would be frequent and fast coming and I hoped to make Arya proud with my eventual skill.

I was mostly the butt of jokes by those who saw fit to teach me the art of sword craft. For the son of Robert, I was a shite fighter and somewhat uncoordinated with the sword. It had been a little while since the duelling with Arya, which had been mostly in just and my duties had kept me from too much training. Not that it apparently mattered. But I gritted my teeth and did what I could. Sansa was supportive if no one else and even Tywin offered a few words over a dinner one night after training.

Still, I got a little better and didn't manage to make too much of an ass of myself. I doubt I'm going to enter any competitions, but I now know a thing or two about how self-defence in this world of utter chaos. With the likes of Clegane in my posse, let's hope I never have to use any of these skills. Which reminded me for the first time in a while to send for Brienne of Tarth, as my desire to correct the course my _father_ tried sending us down is evident in the actions I've taken. Even if she doesn't join up, I would be tempted to knight her just to poke tradition in the eye and show everyone that women _can_ be knights.

A lot of what I was doing was incremental stuff in the long term – the printing press, focusing on road improvements, development of gun powder, and the like. But it would hopefully develop into stuff down the road. The printing press would hopefully lead to an increase in literacy and books, and take a lot of the power away from the Maester's. Road improvement would lead to greater travel and the faster spread of ideas and news. Gun powder to better military technology. From what little I understood of the greater society of this world from the show and what little I'd read of the books, and maybe a wikia or two, it had been stagnant for a while. If I could bring Westeros out of the medieval age and start it onto the road of the industrial revolution, and make the Crown hella rich in the process.

It was too bad that my knowledge wasn't more engineering based or I would be able to kick-start the steam powered era. However, it would be tempting to establish a college of sorts when I got back to King's Landing. I'm sure that Qyburn wasn't the only Maester who either hadn't made it in the rigid system of the Citadel or had been kicked out for unbecoming experiments. If I could attract them and put them to use inventing for the Crown.

The time on the road without the duties of ruling was actively giving me time to think and consider. With a large number of problems either eliminated, like in the case of Little Finger, or minimized, as Cersei would soon be, I would have a certain amount of time to set things in motion. I might have to keep a number of projects away from King's Landing, as I made a pretty good target along with the city itself as the seat of my power, but was a good time. And if they were set up and put in motion now, no matter who was in charge down the line, they would either finish up or just keep turning over.

I was already cranking out messages to send back to Tyrion back home, as fast as the even roads would allow. I was damn near ready to issue a Kingdoms-wide proclamation that all the administrative regions needed to invest some serious case in this cause. It would make everything operate so much smoother in my opinion, which seemed to carry a lot of weight these days. More so as I was proving myself a halfway capable leader who was actually willing to do the job instead of drinking and whoring myself into an early grave as my _father_ had intended on doing. There was still a long way to go to correct his mistakes but we were getting there.

The Iron Throne's finances were under control – spending was down, tax collection was become efficient and the tax code was a reflection of current conditions, and deals had been struck with my two major creditors for repayment. Dorn had been given the man who'd wronged a well-liked Princess of theirs to punish as they saw fit and a voice in the governance of the country they'd married into. Even if I couldn't give them the Lannister's to punish, as I needed them to help me rule, I hoped it would be enough. I'd even quelled a rebellion from the Iron Islands and taught them a lesson on the precious iron price of theirs.

Hell, I even talked Tywin into sending a research party up north to see about the white walkers and whether or not they could be a problem. Hopefully Jon is doing what he did in the show's canon and bringing the free folk into the fold as a defence force. If I could figure out how to add to that, whether by raising the unemployed masses as a citizen militia and sending them north with the promise of pay or raising the armies of the Lords, who knows. One of the letters I was considering sending was on the subject of acquiring the Unsullied and sending them north for the use of the Night's Watch. I doubted that they'd be happy with that gift, but probably wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

The other major problem was the remnants of the House of Targaryen - Daenerys and her brother. Viserys was not a problem and quite possibly dead already from the crown of gold he received from Khal Drogo. If the show's canon was anything to go off of, she was already well on her way to securing an army somewhere in the Free Cities. Even if he sent for the Unsullied at this point, there was the chance she'd get there first and present the better offer with her dragons, but it was worth a try at this point. Even if only to attempt to deprive her of a large portion of her army.

There was bound to be war between the two of them and I need a way to counter the dragons. Hence the gunpowder. If cannons could be developed then that could be something. Le sigh.

Heavy was the head that wore the crown after all…


End file.
